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Not getting what you want is such a relatable problem and happens to all of us! It can feel heartbreaking and overwhelming when something doesn’t go according to plan. This situation happened to me recently when I didn’t get a big assignment I was working towards for months. The organization didn’t even let me know and I instead of found out via social media. I followed the below three steps to help me move past this disappointment.
Acknowledge My Feelings
Yes, that’s right let them all out! I set a max time of one day but the more I practice this process the less time I need. It is important to understand why you are feeling upset and breakdown the real source. For example, if you don’t get the job you want what is the deeper fear? That there won’t be another one or that this is the best match for you? Once you can wade in these feelings you can peal out the root source. This process isn’t a quick fix but understanding the why behind my fears/anger/sadness helps alleviate my immediate reaction but I need to get deep into those feelings first.
List Out My Recent Victories
Get a pen and paper (or your phone but I love to physically write them out). Then, list out all the great things, thoughts, and experiences that have occurred in your life recently. They can be big, major, life altering ones or smaller but important ones. This list helps you shift your negative feelings into a stronger, more positive ones.
Let It Go!
I know, it sounds extremely annoying to say this BUT this is such an important step. Sometimes you have to refocus and put more energy towards a result that works the best for you. Processing your emotions is great but stewing on them will not only not help you but instead keep you stuck in that icky feeling. Life can be a weird up and down process and you will be recalibrating a lot but making that choice to let go is extremely empowering.
Just remember, this disappointment happens to everyone! Better outcomes are possible!